Support?

I went to a support group meeting tonight for parents and family members with kids like mine. I cannot go into details because I don’t want to break confidentiality but honestly, I left feeling very sad. Someone made a comment about my daughter and I was sort of taken aback. The more I think about it, the worse I feel. Sometimes I tend to read more into things than I should. I know when I do that. This is different. It didn’t really hit me full force until later. I was feeling kind of optimistic about Amber because last time we talked, she sounded happier than I have heard her sound in a long time. She was actually thinking about her future and what she wanted to do in life. To me, that’s a significant shift. Normally, she doesn’t even plan ahead an hour from now. Someone sparked something inside her and actually for a fleeting moment she believed she could reach that goal. I have always tried to impress upon her that she was smart and quite capable of accomplishing anything she wanted if she worked at it. I always hope that stuck with her. I hope that she matures into a confident woman. She’s already got the beautiful part down. I just want her to feel happy and proud of herself. I don’t want her to have to defend herself, her behavior, her choices… because I want her to be healthy and strong and make smart decisions. I don’t know if I’ll go back to the support group or not. I don’t know if I was really getting a lot of benefit from it. I think I need a new support group so I can develop all those positive traits I wish for Amber in myself.

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3 Responses

  1. Denise- if you went to a support meeting and you came home feeling less than positive or encouraged about your daughter, then this group is not for you. a support group SUPPORTS. I do not know your circumstances, but i have a son (grown now and doing excellent) with Tourettes Syndrome. The support groups were great for getting info on educational benefits, fighting the system, etc…but as far as understanding people with the same goals as mine, these things we did not really share. I did my best to raise my son aware of his disability but also to be aware of all the consequences of his behaviour. i tried to teach him coping stategies. if you tic badly people will be cruel. they will make fun of you. these are realities. they are not right, they are not fair, but they are true. he (we) worked on strategies to make his life work for him and for him to never be the victim. it was a long hard road……. follow your heart….don’t give up …….
    i will keep you and amber in my prayers during this difficult time.

  2. Maybe one more try?? There’s always going to be one negative person in every room you walk into no matter where you are in the world…don’t let this person get to you. I think people say stupid things to make themselves feel better, and hey, you probably do not even know THIS person well anyway (and certainly they wouldn’t know your great daughter) so consider that comment null and void and concentrate on the better aspects of the support group!

    Just my 2 cents but it is heartfelt!!

    :0)
    Tara

  3. i understand…you want to defend them, but you cannot…i have missed so much lately…thank you for being so supportive during this difficult time…hugs and happy st. paddy’s day…rebecca

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