I went to a support group meeting tonight for parents and family members with kids like mine. I cannot go into details because I don’t want to break confidentiality but honestly, I left feeling very sad. Someone made a comment about my daughter and I was sort of taken aback. The more I think about it, the worse I feel. Sometimes I tend to read more into things than I should. I know when I do that. This is different. It didn’t really hit me full force until later. I was feeling kind of optimistic about Amber because last time we talked, she sounded happier than I have heard her sound in a long time. She was actually thinking about her future and what she wanted to do in life. To me, that’s a significant shift. Normally, she doesn’t even plan ahead an hour from now. Someone sparked something inside her and actually for a fleeting moment she believed she could reach that goal. I have always tried to impress upon her that she was smart and quite capable of accomplishing anything she wanted if she worked at it. I always hope that stuck with her. I hope that she matures into a confident woman. She’s already got the beautiful part down. I just want her to feel happy and proud of herself. I don’t want her to have to defend herself, her behavior, her choices… because I want her to be healthy and strong and make smart decisions. I don’t know if I’ll go back to the support group or not. I don’t know if I was really getting a lot of benefit from it. I think I need a new support group so I can develop all those positive traits I wish for Amber in myself.
Posted on March 14, 2008 by Denise